My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
