i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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