Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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