See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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