So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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