if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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