SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
