yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
