She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
