3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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