I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think my moral compass just broke
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
