Kiss
Puke
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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