week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
