this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
