you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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