pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
