Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
