and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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