Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
