just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
