Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Please, let me fuck your mom
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
