I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
