I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
