Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
