I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
