People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
