the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
