You smell like a Billy Joel song
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
