i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
