When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
