It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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