I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
