he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
