there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Someone signed my nipple.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
