White coat. Heels.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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