i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
