am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
