the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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