I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
