it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
