you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
