I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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