dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
