i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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