I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
