i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
