we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
