I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
