I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
