the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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