SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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