Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
